Practical Employment of the Communicator

The following TEN points, are designed to ensure that all Naval Officers obtain the best results from their Communicators.

  1. When drafting a signal, always endeavour to make the writing illegible. To this end, also remember that lots of crossings out and insertions are also useful this ensures that any comeback on the signal can always be blamed on the Communicators.
  1. Remember to insist that your routine signal is vital and must be sent immediately, and never, ever write a letter when a signal will do.
  1. Try and concentrate on the important points. i.e. your signal should always be over-classified, over-precedenced, have an obscure address and an incorrect SIC. These simple ground rules will ensure the continuation of confusion.
  1. When receiving signals always throw away immediately after perusal. This means that when you forget to take action on a signal you can always claim non-delivery from the COMCEN.
  2. Wardroom one-upmanship. It is important that you receive as many signals for other departments as possible. This enables you to place a very heavy load on the COMCEN and ensures that when a fellow officer makes an error you canimmediately inform the Admiral,
  1. When receiving a signal that is action to another officer do not inform said officer, obey rule 4, thus ensuring trouble for brother officer and COMCEN (N.B. this is a master stroke, only to be used by experienced signals users).
  1. When asking COMCEN to find a signal always omit such things as the DTG and Address. Correctly done, this can occupy a Communicator for days.
  1. Remember that Communicators are entirely responsible for anything that goes wrong, such as the gasket blowing on the IR.s landrover. Never accept any excuse from the COMCEN for anything.
  1. Constant harassment for replies to signals that have not yet been sent is another useful ploy, as the longer you can keep a Communicator on the phone the less time he will have to send signals.
  1. Finally, always be rude, irritable and completely illogical when talking to Communicators. Anything less could be taken as a sign of humanity.

RNA Norwich

The Norwich Branch is one of 300+ branches of the Royal Naval Association world wide. It was commissioned in 1979 and today has a membership of just over 90. It is a registered charity in its own right - the Registered Charity Number is: 1068699

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